(re-run) Home At Last

I originally sent this email on April 9 2003. This is the last of my Irag re-runs. It is amazing that this all happened almost two years ago. It has gone by fast. Now I am almost out of the Army.

Well, as many of you already know...I am home and well. I have been home for about two weeks. Please forgive me if you are just finding out now, but a lot more people found out about my return than expected and the first week was very overwhelming. So if I seemed anti-social to any that talked to me that first week...that is why. I just needed a lot of quiet. I had been so used to white noise, genereators, people, explosions, etc. for so long that my ears literally rang when I first got home. I needed to take it slow for a little while. Now that I have caught my breath...I am ready to rock again.

Also a lot of you came in late on my emails or started forwarding to people after the first couple of installments. As a result, several people have asked me to send the the missing installments....well, I do not have them...I am afraid. However, a friend faithfully posted them to a board that I frequent while I was gone. Of course, you will have to read through shots from the peanut gallery, but the volume is whole. You will notice that is a game website, but if you surf the forum you will realize we rarely talk about the game....mostly it is just nincompoopery and military history. My screen name is Dionikes and 20 points goes whomever knows who this ancient warrior is and in what epic battle he fought in. :) Here is the web site.

http://pub222.ezboard.com/fshoguntotalwarfrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=3571.topic&start=1&stop=20
(This link is now dead)

Be advised this thread got locked recently...because we got a too spammy so it will only be around for a few more months...but that should be enough time for everyone to enjoy.

Well, there you have it. Thanks for all your support during my short adventure. I go on leave next week, but I have no idea I am doing for leave...I will probably go home for awhile...who knows...life is about the journey and not the destination...right??

(re-run) Husaybah on Fire: a Retrospective

I originally sent this email on 24 March 2003...from the very place I am stuck now. Camp Arifjan, KU.

Ok, I know that it has been a long time since you have all heard from me. I know I promised the 13th, but things have been really busy here. Most of my time has been spent on the wash rack ensuring that every last peice of dirt is washed from our vehicles. We do this so no agricultural contaminents make into the States from Iraq.

My last days at FOB Tiger were hectic, as expected. The hand over to the Marines went OK...but they did not listen to us. They have already had 4 people killed in our old AO. Most the ways we hear about evoke the same response..."We told them not to do that!" For instance the Marine who is now blind because left the ballistic windows down on his up armored Humvee...they hit an IED. They upset most of our translators and in response the tranlators quit. It really frustrates us, but I guess they will have to learn. Sadly, their learning will cost lives. The toughest part about the RIP (Releif In Place) was the long days. We had a morning and night mission everday, which means we started at 0600 and ended around 2300 every night. They rotated personnel, but we had to use the same crews every mission. Plum wore us out, yes it did. To make matters worse they were NEVER on time. At first we did not mind, but after the third day it really started getting old. This encounter tarnished our overall opinion of the Marine Corps.

After that was over we loaded up for Kuwait. I got put on a 3-ton truck with an overloaded shipping container strapped to it. This container maxed out the suspension so the entire ride was high adventure. We almost rolled the truck three times because the bumps would start it rocking and my driver (who is not the brightest soldier I have ever worked with) would jerk the truck around trying to get it under control...only exacerbating the problem. It did not help that whoever was responsible for strpping down the container failed to tighten the straps. After the first leg of the trip, I honestly thought someone wanted me dead. BUT I SURVIVED, SUCKERS!!! We tightened everything down and the rest of the journey was tiring, but not too eventful.

When we got close to the border the highway was lined with Bedouin children begging for food and water (whether they really needed it...I am not sure...but they begged just the same). Only after did we find out that we were not supposed to throw them any. Two children had been killed in the week preceding our convoy. Think about it. A 1.5 Liter bottle of water leaves a truck travelling 45mph headed for a child that running towards it to catch it...neither party considers the forces involved...the bottle bounces off the pavement...and well you can imagine the rest. I think it is a perfect metaphor of our efforts in Iraq.

We also lost a soldier on the way back. Sad accident. A fellow LT was in a tank and he was pulling security to the side with his .50 Cal when another convoy from another directing struck the barrel of the gun. Since the mount was free spinning, the gun twisted around and struck him in the back of the head and forced his face into the commander's cuppola. He died instantly. I am reminded of a quote from Band of Brothers: "The war is over but soldiers are still dying"

Now I am at Camp Arifjan, Kuwait. Washing vehicles or should I say in charge of the washing of vehicles. I am the guy watching the guy, watch the guys who are watching the guys clean...and there a guy that watches me from time to time. Ahhhh the bureaucracy.

We have had two accidents on the wash rack. Luckily no one has died, but two people have had both their legs broken. So the Army, ever concerned about safety, now makes sure the everyone wears Kevlar helmets on the wash rack. Isn't the definition of insanity: "when faced with a problem coming up with an irreleveant solution and expecting a different result"?? If so, then someone needs their head checked.

In closing this will probably be my last spam from over the sea. It has been a short adventure but an interesting one none the less. I could arrive anywhere from 29 MAr to the 3 APR. No one knows. I am releaved to know my roommate is back in the States, because HIS crap rolled on to MY washrack and bumped MY vehicles...when asked where he was the other LTs said he was in the States already. So Ed...I know where you live and I am coming to get you. :)

Well, that is all folks...see most of you shortly!!!

Bandit Red 1, OUT!!!!
(FYI That is my call sign)

(re-run) The Land of Exile

I originally sent this email on 21 February 2003 (somehow I got these out of order.)

Well, ladies and gentlemen, life has been absolutely insane the last few days. I would love to write about it all...but I do not have the time. The "insurgents" have really been active this last week and we have been running patrols of Husabah almost non-stop. I had two very close calls with disaster this week. All our sources in the town say there is a big attack being planned on the border checkpoint, and guess whose troop is taking over the checkpoint tomorrow. Your prayers would be appreciated. This is our last mission until the Marines take over, and frankly we are very vulnerable because we have alread sent home most of our equipment. It is going to be hard to keep my soldiers alert and wary when all they can think about is going home. Not to mention this would be a horrible time to lose any soldiers.

Much more...later.

(re-run) LID in BFE

I originally sent this email on 28 February 2003.


Hello once again it is time for another adventure with our wayward hero, codename BOHICA. So fasten your seatbelts, cause it is going to be bumpy ride. Last time we left you discussing Ops with OGA.

The laws of OGA raids:

1. No matter how many satellite photos, rock solid intel, and other assurances you are given that "this" is the target house...when you get there is always the house next door.

2. If you are promised air cover...it only comes on station 10 minutes after the mission is over.

3. If the air cover comes on before the mission...they will run out of fuel and have return to base as soon as you pull up to the target house.

4. The target is never home. He is either in Baghdad at a wedding, in Saudi Arabia at a funeral, or at his other wife's house.

That about sums it up. We just have too much fun. So now the north missions...they were cancelled. Go figure. Things have been really eventful. IEDs and ambushes have really picked up the last couple of weeks. Hence, so have our patrols and "shows of force". Of course, at the troop level we just see this as providing them with more targets, but higher always knows better right. Lately, it has been Chinese 62mm rockets that are launched remotely. They go through Bradleys like crap through a goose. I have picture of one Bradley in my sister scout platoon that was "knocked out" by one...no one was killed. So instead of patrolling the northern area of the border, we were patrolling Husabah around the clock. Boring. But in this case boring is good.

On the first day nothing really happened during the patrols. We had one guy start beating his child after the kid waved the American infidels, but other than that nothing happened. Unfortunately, as we were driving back the tank we had along found a land mine. All I heard behind me was an explosion. As jumped up to get higher in my Brad turret I managed to unplug my crew helmet and lose my hand mike in the same motion. Grrrr. So for the first minute I was totally incommunicado, groping in the dark for my commo equipment. The mine blew the tanks #1 roadwheel and did a job on the track. When EOD arrived they said it was a double stacked Russian AT mine...it would have opened up a Brad like a tin can and somehow my three Brads went over it before it went off. It took us all night to repair the tank, and the we headed back to FOB Tiger.

Next day we headed out for patrols the track on my brad was making funny
noises. Well about four miles out of the gate this happened: (I will try to add the picture later pic 590) At the time we were traveling in excess of 40mph. My driver did a job because if he would have screwed up we would have rolled. When you lose one side of track any use of the brakes will cause the remaining side to lock up, pulling the vehicle hard to side with track, and put it on its side. IOW when you lose track you no longer have any control over a 60 ton vehicle
traveling 40 mph...you just hope the landing is soft.

The next day we had another raid. This was set for 0500 in the morning. Amazingly enough...it was the right house...but dude was not home. However, fortune did shine upon us as the guy that beat his child a couple of days before...his house was next door...and we have to search adjacent houses to make sure the target isn't hiding there. We zip stripped the guy and roughed up him up pretty good. He was like, "why, mister, why?" So we had our translator tell him "This is for beating a child" His wives (he had 3) all started laughing at him. Too good.

After yet another raid went empty handed we headed north just to burn ammo and say HI to the border guards. I have never had so much fun... We burned off all the extra ammo we had to include incendiary grenades, every kind of 40mm grenade you can think of, frags, vehicles smoke grenades, 25mm HEI, etc, etc. Good times. After that we had another night of patrols and that completed that cycle. There is more to tell but I am really tired of typing.

I will write more about the border later. That was very eventful as well. I got mortared for the first time, we almost got attacked, but our attackers got lost. Long story...good for later.

PS. Nothing I put in these is OPSEC. I appreciate everyone's concern, but all the locations I give are very general and times are as well. Newsweek had an article about our border crossing in its Feb 16 2004 issue.

(re-run) Run for the Border

I originally sent this email on February 14th 2004.

Greetings all, this edition finds our wayward hero ripe from the border Syrian border. (literally, there are no showers there)

Wow, well the night before we took over the border checkpoint they got mortared pretty bad...they counted about 30 rounds. Our state of the art CBR(Counter Battery Radar) did not get a hit on a single one of them either. I have pictures of the damage...no one was hurt. SO I says to myself...well, this should be interesting. Nothing much really happened while we were there. The ICDC got into a fire fight on the second night. There must have been 20-30 guys firing automatic weapons from the sound of it. And the battle lasted for about 20 minutes. We watched them push their pick-up truck back to HQ full of bullet holes and 3 flat tires. We called the ICDC HQ to see if anyone was hurt. Nope. Did they kill any ne're-do-wells? Nope. Suddenly, I could see how the Iran-Iraqi war could last for 9 years in a desert environment with no clear winner.

My guys love inspecting cars. Iraqis are only allowed to export small quantities of goods to Syria...so mostly that is what we are looking for. Benzene, their gas, is a big one. They raise their vehicles and put huge tanks on the bottom of them. See benzene is $.06 a gallon in Iraq and $6 in Syria. We are allowed to rip anything we want to out of the vehicles. If the Iraqis start getting unruly we give them the International sign of the "zip strip".(place your wrists together at about eye level) They get peaceful fast. Everyone respects the zip strip.

Other than that not a whole lot happened. It rained for the last two nights...yes, rained...and a lot of it too. It seemed like Shakespearian rain...dark and cold eluding to bad things to come.

Right now we are off cycle again. I get to do the 100% sensitive items (weapons, radios, expensive stuff like that) inventory, which is funny because our stuff is scattered all over the globe.

Having done several house raids I developed a few laws to working with OGA (Other Gov't Agency...spooks):

....but they will have to wait. I must go.

Next episode...the north missions.

(re-run) The Alternate Uses of Port-A-John

I originally sent this email on February 8, 2003.

Well, this edition finds our wayward hero just after he is finished his first patrols....

My Squadron is responsible for a series of villages on the Syrian border and they make up a metropolis (seriously lacking the metro) called Al Qu'im. The villages are named (from west to east) Husabah, Karibilah, and Sadah. When my SQN first pulled in every patrol got shot at or RPGed (Rocket Propelled Grenade). Most of the attacks centered around the Ba'ath party HQ in Husabah. So for two weeks in November my platoon along with some soldiers from the 82nd Airborne occupied the HQ. They were attacked everyday and received total of 30 RPGs, 130 mortars, and countless small arms fire. The soldiers from the 82nd said that it was worse than anything they saw in Afghanistan. We did not lose a single soldier. Many Iraqis died. In the end, we left the building and the AF bombed it. There have been no incidents in any of the cities since then. Everyday, the city seems to grow friendlier...SEEMS. So that is the background.

We did several patrols through the towns and it was like a parade. All the women and children would come out and wave to us and smile at us. Of course, the men would just sit back and fire looks that could kill. Unfortunately, we have recently started finding Al Quida operatives in our little town and another group who refer to themselves as "the scientists" is executing anyone that works with us. So things are looking to get a bit hairy again. On Wed I lead my first raid...or should I say first 3. I can't say much about who we were after and why. But it was an experience. It all starts being very real when you put a round in the chamber. Fortunately, nothing happened. We only got one guy the other two were "visiting relatives". AN experience.

Now we are off cycle. So we pretty much clean and get ready to redeploy all day long. So I have time to think about other things.

The port-a-johns. Ok, in America we all understand how they work and we use them as such. Well, here they have a different idea about how they work. Now please remember they do not use toilets...instead the have holes in the ground and they squat and wipe with water. So instead of sitting the Iraqis step up above the seat and do their business. Not a problem. It is washing of the back side that is the problem. They do not us TP...instead they bring a bottle of water in to do it. Well, lets just say precision during washing is not given the credit in this country that it should. In the end they manage to get fecal matter laden water all over the place. This in turn renders the port-a-john completely useless to any of us. Needless to say anglo-iraqi relations have been strained by this very issue as they seem to do this in EVERY port-a-john on the camp. For that reason my troop has put padlocks on some that only we have keys too. Crisis averted.

Well, that is all for now. Talk to you all later.

(re-run) The Great Nowhere

Another repost. This email was originally sent on February 2, 2004.

Well, much has happened since I last spoke to everyone. In short, I am now at Tiger Base in the Al Qu'im province of Iraq, a scout platoon leader, and about to go out on my first border mission. Where to start??

When we last saw our hero he was festooned in Cp Wolverine. The plane that was promised "disappeared"...how you lose an aircraft, I don't know. SO it looked like we would be staying there for about a week. Unh. (Al, it is not bad but after the first day you want to paint a wall so the drying provides some entertainment) Fortunately, the Air Farce found another plane and we were off to Al Asad. Al Asad is an Iraqi air base in the middle of nowhere that 3d ACR found early on after the hostilities. It did not get bombed for the most part except the runways got cratered. Within about a week they had restored power, water, and other essentials. Due to its remote location it was not looted at all. Probably one of the nicest places in present day Iraq.

The flight was the smoothest we had so far. We did a "combat" descent into Al Asad...10000 feet to on the ground in about two minutes. Finished off with the smoothest landing thus far. Reservists from Pittsburgh put down a C-130 softer than the "professional" pilots of North American Airlines put down a 767. Hmmm.

So anyway we get off the plane and wait for our respective SQNs to pick us up. 1st SQN showed up promptly and we started loading bags. Then they read off the list of who was going with them. Guess whose name was not on the list?? None other than our hapless hero. They refused to take me...so there I stood...five hours...waiting for the omnipotent "them" to decide my fate. Finally, they decided 1st SQN will have to put up with me. "And the peasants rejoiced...yeah" Fortunately, the SCO (SQN commander) was in Al Asad and needed to get back to Tiger Base so he gave the officers a ride. We flew NOE (Nap Of the Earth) out to Tiger base so I did not get to see much, but what I did see was whole lot of nothing. This place is flat...this coming from a South Dakotan mind you. FLAT!! It is not so much sand as arid soil, though.

SO now we are at Tiger Base and I am trying to find out my job. Three times hence I am greeted with the same question, "Who are you...we did not know you were coming" I am not even kidding. SO my job prospects are looking weak. I have my interview with the SCO and he says he needs PLs (Platoon leaders) but I am really too senior to take a platoon. So then what? The S1 comes out and tells me I have Red Platoon in Bandit Troop. Wow. Did not see that one coming. I am a Scout PL. Rock on.

The platoon is rock solid. The problem is that they have been without a PL for almost the entire deployment. The PSG has been playing PL. I am really not needed. Even better our redeployment got bumped up so I only have 3 Brads...the other 3 have already been turned in. It is kind of funny because we only have one more border rotation left. I start sending the first of my soldiers home at the end of Feb. Seriously, the platoon runs itself...so right now I am just sitting back and watching. Not to mention I know nothing about scouting...never got Scout Leaders Course (SLC). I already have some pretty choice second hand stories...none of my own, yet. I will save those for later. Ooo, I will share one.

From time to time my platoon is tasked with rooting out opposition in certain neighborhoods. How do they do this.(and this is a testament to Iraqi marksmanship) They drive around the block until someone shoots an RPG...then they return fire. They figure the Iraqis get impatient and just shoot. My PSG said it usually only takes about three laps around the block. They have never been hit by the Iraqis on these missions. :)

Well, I must go. Will talk more later. I am flying home on APR 1 (when and where and when I will be back in the States...don't know)

(re-run) So the Adventure Begins

This is from my first tour in Iraq. I am reposting all the old emails so as to archive them. Enjoy!!!

Well, I am presently writing you from Camp Wolverine, Kuwait. We will be flying to Al Asad, Iraq tomorrow. So I have a little time to kill. Here is how the deployment flight went.

0400 Weapons draw. That is where this whole adventure started. Now the best part is that we did not leave Peterson AFB until 2:00PM. In that time we had accountability (15 min), manifest(15 min), bus ride to Peterson(about 25 min), and breakfast(20 min)...the rest of the time??? I cannot account for. I really have no idea where it went too. Odd. Then we get on plane. Within minutes we discover the reading lights, call buttons, the safety lighting in the aisle and video screens are not working. This is not encouraging but not the worst part...no, we make the mistake of asking the flight attendant why. She nonchalantly mentions the machanic mentioned something about a small electrical fire the day before. So we hve not left the ground and it already looks like this is going to be high adventure.
From there we went to Ft. Riley Kansas and picked up some more soldiers. No worries...too easy. From there we were off to JFK for a "two hour" layover...that turned out to be five...we boarded the plane again 3AM and were wheels up at 4AM. Just in case you have lost track, it has been 24 hours and we still have not left American air space. About this time our pilots start landing real hard. Hard enough to knock overheads open. So we start grading them on the overhead criteria. The JFK landing earned the first pilot a 2 overhead rating. Nevertheless we were off to Sigonella Naval Air Station with a new pilot. He earned a 2 overhead rating as well.
It was 7PM (9AM at home)in Sicily when we landed. Sicily was beautiful even in the dark. We only got to venture a little way, but what we saw was beautiful. Then we boarded and were off to Kuwait with a new pilot.
This pilot ended up being our winner for the expedition by acheiving a miraculous 3 overhed rating in Kuwait. It was simply spectacular...I thought I swallowed my tongue.:) I am not sure if he found the runway or it found him. Even the flight attendant got nervous. I am sure we left spare parts on the runway or something. BUT we were at our destination and it only took 38 hours from weapons draw. The time here was 5AM so we were ready to go for a day inprocessing. We got to see the sunrise for the third time in the adventure. A gorgeous sunrise I might add. Now the inprocessing is done and we are waiting to fly into Iraq. Jet lag is starting to kick in so i must go. Ahhhh the joys of military air travel.
I found out just before we left that I am going to First Squadron (Tiger) and will not be stuck in the pergatory that is Regimental headquaters. Of course I will do not know what I will be doing. I will know soon enough.

Time to breath

Well, this last month was incredibly busy. For much of it I was doing the work of three men. Fortunately, we have received replacements so we can now accomplish all of our requisite nonsense at a more metered pace. For me this also means I got to have my first day- off in two months. In true Army fashion I spent most of it cleaning and ironing things. Of course, when you work 12 hour shifts for a month strait two significant things happen: one you do not fell like doing much else than sleeping when you are off and two the last thing you want to do is clean.

This also marks a very significant post as I am posting this from my room. We have finally established a steady wireless connection in the barracks. Hence, there should be more updates and more thoughts on a regular basis...for all the nobody that read this.

One thing I do want to talk about is a book that I just got done reading lately. It was written around the 1920s by Rene Daumal called A Night of Serious Drinking. The title alone draws you to it. The book is a work of delicious fiction that has hidden within some powerful social commentary.

Also I would recommend the new David Gray CD. I am already completely hooked on every track in it. It is a euphoric yet laced with a dark side. I cannot stop playing it.

More to come in the future. So hang on.