(re-run) The Alternate Uses of Port-A-John
I originally sent this email on February 8, 2003.
Well, this edition finds our wayward hero just after he is finished his first patrols....
My Squadron is responsible for a series of villages on the Syrian border and they make up a metropolis (seriously lacking the metro) called Al Qu'im. The villages are named (from west to east) Husabah, Karibilah, and Sadah. When my SQN first pulled in every patrol got shot at or RPGed (Rocket Propelled Grenade). Most of the attacks centered around the Ba'ath party HQ in Husabah. So for two weeks in November my platoon along with some soldiers from the 82nd Airborne occupied the HQ. They were attacked everyday and received total of 30 RPGs, 130 mortars, and countless small arms fire. The soldiers from the 82nd said that it was worse than anything they saw in Afghanistan. We did not lose a single soldier. Many Iraqis died. In the end, we left the building and the AF bombed it. There have been no incidents in any of the cities since then. Everyday, the city seems to grow friendlier...SEEMS. So that is the background.
We did several patrols through the towns and it was like a parade. All the women and children would come out and wave to us and smile at us. Of course, the men would just sit back and fire looks that could kill. Unfortunately, we have recently started finding Al Quida operatives in our little town and another group who refer to themselves as "the scientists" is executing anyone that works with us. So things are looking to get a bit hairy again. On Wed I lead my first raid...or should I say first 3. I can't say much about who we were after and why. But it was an experience. It all starts being very real when you put a round in the chamber. Fortunately, nothing happened. We only got one guy the other two were "visiting relatives". AN experience.
Now we are off cycle. So we pretty much clean and get ready to redeploy all day long. So I have time to think about other things.
The port-a-johns. Ok, in America we all understand how they work and we use them as such. Well, here they have a different idea about how they work. Now please remember they do not use toilets...instead the have holes in the ground and they squat and wipe with water. So instead of sitting the Iraqis step up above the seat and do their business. Not a problem. It is washing of the back side that is the problem. They do not us TP...instead they bring a bottle of water in to do it. Well, lets just say precision during washing is not given the credit in this country that it should. In the end they manage to get fecal matter laden water all over the place. This in turn renders the port-a-john completely useless to any of us. Needless to say anglo-iraqi relations have been strained by this very issue as they seem to do this in EVERY port-a-john on the camp. For that reason my troop has put padlocks on some that only we have keys too. Crisis averted.
Well, that is all for now. Talk to you all later.
Well, this edition finds our wayward hero just after he is finished his first patrols....
My Squadron is responsible for a series of villages on the Syrian border and they make up a metropolis (seriously lacking the metro) called Al Qu'im. The villages are named (from west to east) Husabah, Karibilah, and Sadah. When my SQN first pulled in every patrol got shot at or RPGed (Rocket Propelled Grenade). Most of the attacks centered around the Ba'ath party HQ in Husabah. So for two weeks in November my platoon along with some soldiers from the 82nd Airborne occupied the HQ. They were attacked everyday and received total of 30 RPGs, 130 mortars, and countless small arms fire. The soldiers from the 82nd said that it was worse than anything they saw in Afghanistan. We did not lose a single soldier. Many Iraqis died. In the end, we left the building and the AF bombed it. There have been no incidents in any of the cities since then. Everyday, the city seems to grow friendlier...SEEMS. So that is the background.
We did several patrols through the towns and it was like a parade. All the women and children would come out and wave to us and smile at us. Of course, the men would just sit back and fire looks that could kill. Unfortunately, we have recently started finding Al Quida operatives in our little town and another group who refer to themselves as "the scientists" is executing anyone that works with us. So things are looking to get a bit hairy again. On Wed I lead my first raid...or should I say first 3. I can't say much about who we were after and why. But it was an experience. It all starts being very real when you put a round in the chamber. Fortunately, nothing happened. We only got one guy the other two were "visiting relatives". AN experience.
Now we are off cycle. So we pretty much clean and get ready to redeploy all day long. So I have time to think about other things.
The port-a-johns. Ok, in America we all understand how they work and we use them as such. Well, here they have a different idea about how they work. Now please remember they do not use toilets...instead the have holes in the ground and they squat and wipe with water. So instead of sitting the Iraqis step up above the seat and do their business. Not a problem. It is washing of the back side that is the problem. They do not us TP...instead they bring a bottle of water in to do it. Well, lets just say precision during washing is not given the credit in this country that it should. In the end they manage to get fecal matter laden water all over the place. This in turn renders the port-a-john completely useless to any of us. Needless to say anglo-iraqi relations have been strained by this very issue as they seem to do this in EVERY port-a-john on the camp. For that reason my troop has put padlocks on some that only we have keys too. Crisis averted.
Well, that is all for now. Talk to you all later.
posted by Lycurgus at 9:06 AM
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